‘Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,’
James 1:2 ESV
I was having a conversation with my sister the other day, and we were relating to each other on how we both suck at reaching out and keeping in touch. We both had the same reason: life. There has been so much going on, whether in our daily lives or within our own selves, that we forget, or procrastinate on, or simply just don’t reach out. We referred to it as being in our own bubble, or being stuck in our own life. While the topic of the conversation was about not reaching out due to the circumstances; the true reason for not reaching out was lying a little deeper than just a busy life, at least for me it was. The truth was that the stress of the daily routine, the pressure and demand of life and the non-stop having to push through it all had taken a huge toll on me, for years actually. Now, that toll weighing on me all day, everyday, had made me miserable. While I kept a smile on my face in front of my kids, and I showed up and gave my best at work; the problems and stresses I was going through on a daily basis, and the torment of my past traumas seeping into my present were what had been cornering me into this bubble. The unshakable depression, the satisfying isolation, the relief of being able to hide my shame at home and the peace of avoiding social anxiety were all significant factors keeping me in my own world, but were also keeping me miserable. I didn’t have to show up and show out for anyone, I didn’t have to get up and be there, I didn’t have to go through the rollercoaster of social anxiety of feeling cringy because I think that I said something wrong or did something weird and now I look weird and now I don’t ever want to do this again, and I knew I should’ve just stayed home. On the flip side, I didn’t have anyone to show up and out for, I didn’t have anywhere to be; and although social interactions can be tricky, when you get to the point of isolating even from your most loved ones, it’s an indicator that something is really wrong.
I shared with her how, in a different conversation I had with someone else, I was inspired to start looking at life a little differently. This person, who does not believe in God, was going through a difficult season in their life and they were able to recognize the shift in their mood and made a purposeful change, a proactive choice, and decided to beat the negativity with positivity. That struck me, because, how is it that this unbeliever can find it within themself to remove themself from the feeling of misery and negativity, but I, a daughter of God, the Almighty God, Jehovah-Shalom my peace, was out here hiding away from the world, going through it, in my feelings, unhappy, all the while believing it was just “life” and being “busy”?! I immediately began to see little glimpses of my life, like short video clips in my head, of the most recent moments where I was upset and unhappy. I quickly saw those times as opportunities to switch up my act and handle those situations with a much more positive attitude. That’s when the scripture hit me, Holy Spirit always comes through: COUNT IT ALL JOY!
Each day has felt a little lighter, and I’ve experienced this great feeling of freedom. I had quite a few opportunities to practice “joying through it”. I was running late one morning: before, I would’ve been silently upset the whole car ride and back, this time I purposely enjoyed the view of my morning commute and delighted myself in all of the blessings I have. Another time I felt a sudden pressure of not being able to meet a few deadlines I had, but I prayed on it for like two seconds instead of letting that pressure take me on a downward spiral of stress, and immediately I felt God remind me how it was all truly working out and I was just caught up in a temporary moment, it was like taking a step back to see the bigger picture instead of honing in on one small problem. The picture above was another one. My son rushed in while I was on a work call with this painting he made. Instead of getting frustrated with the interruption, I finished up my call and joined in on his excitement of his beautiful artwork; done in oil pastel, my favorite. These scenarios may seem minor compared to other bigger, much more serious problems, but the breakthrough moment for me was how these small events were crippling my daily life, robbing me of joy. Little by little, the pressure built up, the days became harder and when I came to realize, I was way off the mark. Without realizing, these small trials became great tribulations. While there is still so much work to be done in me, let me not merely walk through this journey of life, I want joy through it.
‘Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.’
James 1:12 ESV
February 29, 2024
•Krys• 